Columbia Association

On a recent visit to a swanky D.C. area Dog Park, I was very impressed with the cleanliness, well-manicured landscaping, and the big dog little dog sections that I've never seen before and do not have at my usual local park, but quite frankly we did not enjoy our brief visit here because this place is a 1st class doggy snobatorium.

Since I'm not a D.C. resident I had to kick out cash to enter, now I really don't have a problem with that, but it just caught me off guard cuz I thought it was a public park. So I paid and showed proof that neither I or my mutt has rabies and we are allowed in. We were there not more than 5 minutes when dog owners on 2 separate occasions asked with wrinkled noses "What kind of dog is that?'' Well *** IDK, I've never known, and besides what difference does it make?

he's still human or something like that. But I know what they were doing, they were pointing out the fact that he is not a pure breed. But the 2nd woman really took the cake with her backhanded compliment of that's an awfully nice collar for "that dog" However, I just ignore it and move on cuz Mama taught us to always assume positive intent. As the mutt and I continue our stroll we take note of a QT sitting alone on a bench totally engrossed in whatever she was doing on her large tablet, so naturally we head in that direction, now me and the mutt are kindred spirits in that we are always looking to meet and greet and perhaps do a little partying, so her unattended dog romps over and my mutt is ready to shake hands, but the cuties dog lifts his leg and starts to *** on my dog and Box didn't like that *** at all and a fight quickly broke out.

Now for the 1st time, the QT looks up, sees what's happening and rushes over and we managed to get them separated. As I offered a warm smile and attempted to explain how the altercation began, she says nothing, yanks her dog away, picks up her tablet and leaves the park in a huff while giving me the angriest look I've ever seen, and also threw in an eye roll as if I did something wrong! Well, I'm sorry ma'am, but my mutt was just not interested in receiving a golden shower, or at least not from another male dog. And if you are reading this or somehow get wind of this post, just remember that this is an open forum and you are certainly free to offer a rebuttal and tell me what part of my recounting of this story to be factually incorrect because I would LOVE to hear it.

Look, the bottom line is that me and my mutt are just plain blue-collar folk, and proud of it, and while we get along with anyone, we just don't back down to the wine & cheese crowd and allow ourselves to be peed on, so you all can take this park and....well, never mind. BYE!