Imagine a great animal clinic providing exceptional, compassionate care to the patients who are regarded as true family members. State-of-the-art facilities and professional and courteous staff.
Now imagine: it is not a veterinary clinic. Quite the reverse, it is a clinic for humans. The highly-valued patients are people, and the highly-trained personnel are… cats.
You are imagining our feline therapy clinic, which is still a fantasy for now, but has a huge practical potential.
Do you know that cats can act as therapists themselves or facilitate therapy?
Our sweet-bundles-of-fur can save you a bundle in medical bills. Did we mention that our clinic is truly humanitarian? Our cats don’t charge for their services. They just heal. Why they do it? Because, unlike some humans, they are humane. If you are not an animal-hater, if you are capable of honest (non-monetary) gratitude and appreciation, the cats will gladly save your life. Free of charge. Because they like it.
Imagine our Department of Diagnostics. We call it Cat-scan. There are no complicated and costly devices. Just a patient and a four-legged analyst. No one is asking questions and recording anamnesis. The cat intuitively detects which part of your body is disturbing you, then comes and clings exactly to this spot.
Do you know that cats are able to locate and absorb negative energy?
How they do it? If only we knew…
Pain Management starts right after the diagnostics. As the cat recognizes the pain in the patient, he starts alleviating it. No IV, no medications. Just a patient interacting with a cat, whom we now call a Catalyst. The cat accelerates biochemical changes in patient’s body, which decrease pain, boost the immune system and promote a feeling of well being, relaxation and enjoyment.
Imagine our Cardiovascular Department. No heavy machinery - just a patient and a firry therapist. We call him a Natural Pacemaker. The procedure is simple: the human is stroking the cat. Within minutes it lowers the patient’s blood pressure and reduces the risk of recurrent stroke and heart attack. The effect is similar to a session of meditation and relaxation. On-going treatment cuts the risk of heart attack by a third.
Do you know that feline-less people are 30 to 40 percent more likely to die of cardiovascular disease than those with cats?
Moving to Orthopedic Department. No scary equipment here either. Only a patient and a fluffy chiropractor.
Do you know the saying: “Put a cat and a bunch of broken bones in the same room, and the bones will heal?”
Our chiropractors do not perform any aggressive manipulations with your spine, joints or soft tissues. They simply make a calming ‘Purr’ sound. We call them Purrformers. The purring is highly therapeutic.
Do you know that frequencies of 25 and 50 hertz promote bone strength and stimulate both the healing of fractures, and the speed at which the fractures heal?
Somehow cats maintain their purr vibrations exactly within the medically therapeutic range. How they do it? If only we knew… But the fact is – purr alone helps bone growth and healing, swelling reduction, wound healing, muscle growth and repair, tendon repair and joint mobility. Purrfect!
Imagine our Holistic Department. Our deep tissue massage is kneading - that funny pushing-forward motion of a cat’s paws mimicking the kneading of dough. The back rub is joined with Acupuncture when the masseuse (we call him Meow-seuse) digs his bared claws into your skin. Combined with the Purr and the warming effect of cat’s body, the procedure can balance the energy and release the blockage caused by the disease, thereby assisting the body to heal the disease.
Let’s move to Behavioral Medicine Department.
Do you know that cats have a significant curative effect on people with neurotic, mental illnesses, or mental retardation?
The mere presence of our therapists (we call them Puss-ifiers) next to the sick person, calms our nervous patients down. Their pulse equalizes, nerves soothe, people start to have more positive emotions and a desire to communicate with the others.
Do you know that cats can also help to relieve fatigue, stress, migraines, rheumatism, gastric ulcers, insomnia and more?
Now imagine our HR Department, which we call FR (feline resources). While our cats are all magically talented, they are assigned to different departments based on distinctive natural skills.
Do you know that female cats have stronger biological effect on humans then male cats?
- Females are better in treatment of the diseases of nervous system and internal organs.
- Male cats are excellent healers of rheumatism, sciatica and arthritis.
Our therapists do not wear color-coordinated scrubs. They wear fir, coordinated by color and texture with medical specialty.
- Long-haired cats (Persian, Angora, Siberian, Ragdoll, Burmese) are good neurologists, experts in insomnia, irritation and depression,
- Short-haired with plush fir (exotic British, Scottish, Russian blue) "specialize" in cardio-vascular diseases,
- Short-haired and hairless breeds (Siamese, Oriental, Sphinxes) heal diseases of liver, kidneys and stomach.
- Black cats absorb twice as much of negative energy as other colors,
- Cream-colored cats tone up humans’ energy the best,
- Red cats release the most positive energy,
- Blue-gray cats calm and soothe,
- White cats are therapeutic for all of the above.
Do you know that in England white cats are sold in specialized pharmacies along with aspirin and tranquilizers?
Did you like your imaginary tour of our Cat Clinic?
Now try to imagine a Healthcare system, not tied to Medical Insurance and ability to pay? A healthcare based on a simple rule: if you are unwell, and we can help – we will? Can you imagine it? … Try harder. Think cats.