Y aren’t u answering ur txts today? R u still alive?

Really, are you still alive? Your not texting is alarming. Did something happen? Were you walking and texting, and fall into fountain? (LOL!) Were you driving and texting, and got hit by another texting driver? (OMG!) Did you lose your phone? (Wut?!)

It is the 21st century. New millennium, new generation – Generation Unplugged. New people - young, free and tied to the mobile. If you don't have a mobile, you're effectively a non-person. If you still use a dumb-phone, you are consequently a retarded person. If you use a feature phone but don’t text, you are probably old. If you have a smart-phone - you are either texting or something is seriously wrong with you.

Modern people prefer to text rather than converse, or to make phone calls, or to even leave voice messages. For young modern people texting is a social necessity. For very young modern people unlimited texting is a social necessity. Teens and tweens, when not allowed to text, become anxious, jittery and almost suicidal.

Modern society prefers texting, which is a more primitive form of communication with the aid of a more sophisticated tool. Are we degrading? Conversation is what separates the human race from the animals. And even animals bark, squeal and tweet messages directly to each other. Should we say now that typing is what separates us from animals?

In truth, the most distinctive feature of the modern society is convenience. That’s the direction of our evolution. And even though it causes some mild degradation, we prefer the convenience. And, admit it, texting is extremely convenient.

Besides the doubtfully convenient practices of drive-texting and walk-texting, you can text anywhere and anytime. People are texting while eating, bathing, using the toilet, or having sex. These activities may not be recommended for phone conversations, let alone video calls. While telephone chat gives us an advantage of not being seen, text messaging eliminates destructive sounds.

Phone calls can be painfully awkward. Even if you have perfect elocution, a great speaking voice, and fantastic oratorical skills, your tête-à-tête can be ruined by a poor cell-phone reception, an ambulance driving by, a barking dog or an intrusive person next to you.

With texting, you can also avoid annoying small talk or long itchy silence on the other end, and you don’t need to answer right away. You can keep in touch with people, whom you don’t really want to hear.

Another texting advantage - you may actually think of what you are going to say, while on the phone you may instantly say something stupid. Plus, you can write what you are too shy or scared to say. With a text, you can plan and even revise.

Texting lingo is also very convenient. No spelling, no grammar. No capitalization, no punctuation. No need to apologize for your dyslexia. It’s a new millennium, a different world and the speling shud b difrent.

Spelling allowances are most appreciated by kids, who are in the front raw of the texting expansion. However the parents are often worrying about the SMS addiction. There are some legit parental concerns, like walk-texting, drive-texting and maybe sleep-texting. Also, the cost of unlimited texting. (Parents, who try to save on unlimited texting for teenager’s phone, end up paying more). But other than this, parents should see the texting as a convenience.

Kids often don’t answer parents’ calls because they don’t want them to hear background noise or analyze the kid’s sound and pronunciation. Send your kid a text, and you’ll most likely receive “im gr8” soon. As much as you want to know, what is going on in the background, and how suspicious your kid may sound, the most important is to know that he is gr8. Alive, lucid and not in jail.

Some creative parents find the way to check the kid’s text messages (unlike dubious phone calls, they stay in the phone for a while) and get to know their youngster better. In case they can decipher the messages, of course.

SMS cipher can be a positive thing too. Instead of complaining about the decay of spelling and grammar, parents should see it as a foreign language, the kid is learning quickly and efficiently. It shows lot of logic and cognitive development.

10Q – is there a better way to shorten”thank you”?

sup – think for a second, and you will never type the whole “what’s up?” again.

wuteva - maybe not classy, but a definite “whatever”.

meh -  a synonym of  “wuteva”.

rehi – “hello again”. Pretty sharp.

411 – short for “information”. Makes sense.

511 – “too much information”. Smart, isn’t it?

9” is a code for “parent is watching”. Good to know.

99” - “parent is no longer watching”. Simple and effective.

P911” – “parent Alert”. Aha!

<3” – “heart”. Just tilt your head to the right. Got it?

Now try to figure this out: “I <3 U”…You are learning...

;-)” – a smiley face. You see, they do use punctuation.

Learning the SMS-code makes parents cooler and closer to the kids. And it’s fun. “Wuz4dina?”

And there is more. Texting develops thumbs dexterity. Who knows, it might be useful in future. It can also open a career opportunity – in cryptography, stenography, journalism, or court reporting.

Also, for parents who are worried that constant mobile-phone use might lead to cancer, texting, with the phone nowhere near the ear, is obviously an improvement.

Cool parents, who embraced the SMS convenience, often become the front-runners of texting themselves. And so do the grandparents. Old people are catching up with the 21st century. They may learn the new jargon a bit slower and keep using “haha” instead of “LOL”, but they are surely getting there. They even developed STC (Senior Texting Codes), including alternative meanings of popular acronyms.

BFF: Best Friend Farted
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LOL: Luscious Old Lady (also: Living On Lipitor)
FYI: For Your Incontinence (also: Found Your Insulin)
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
CRY:                           Can’t remember You
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
CBM: Covered By Medicare
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
ROFL... CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing... And Can't Get Up
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?

It is the 21st century. And the new generation is voting for convenience. We all are Generation Txt, regardless of age, health and spelling ability. And we all are textually active.

Good bye, ppl. TLK2UL8R.