Meet Joe. Joe is a parking enforcement officer. People don’t like Joe. Nothing personal – people just don’t like anyone, giving them parking tickets. And this is Joe’s job – giving people parking tickets. Joe prefers to say “awarding parking tickets”. Not exactly the Oscar, but something to talk about. Joe is enforcing parking rules. And he is doing it very good.

When Joe sees an expired parking meter, he writes a ticket. When he sees a meter that is about to expire, he waits nearby. 10 minutes left, 5 minutes, 2, 1,… Joe starts the final countdown: ten, nine, eight, seven…here is a dude running from across the street to the meter. It is a fierce race. Who will be the winner – Joe, writing a ticket or the dude, pulling out of the parking lot? Five, four, three… Usually Joe wins.

People are getting out of shape; they need to take better care of their health. Maybe start walking instead of driving.

Joe sees a car parked illegally in the street. Joe issues a parking ticket. It’s his job. He does not check inside the car. It is not his job. Also, the windows are heavily tinted. If Joe did look inside the car (while it is not his job), he would see that the driver was still in the car, and he would try to award the ticket personally. That’s before Joe would realize that the driver was dead. It is a good excuse for illegal parking. But it is not Joe’s job to listen to the excuses. Joe’s job is to award tickets. Still, Joe would be curious: “Who will pay for the violation?”

Joe could not expect a dead man in a car, he is not a psychic, he is a parking enforcement officer. But when Joe sees a decorated minivan blocking the traffic outside a funeral home, he might suspect there is someone in a box inside the van. However, being suspicious is not Joe’s job, so Joe issues an order to tow the vehicle away, giving its dearly departed passenger the last side trip. At least Joe hopes there will be someone alive to pay for the violation.

Joe sees a stopped vehicle on a highway. There is also an ambulance car standing close by, but the ambulance can park anywhere. Joe will not give a ticket to paramedics, especially while they are busy carrying the guy from the other vehicle to their unit. They are in a big hurry, that means the guy is not dead yet. Joe leaves a parking ticket on his car. Get well soon, fellow.
Joe is at a bank’s 15-minute parking lot, and all the cars are there for more than 15 minutes. Joe wonders: “What’s wrong with these people? What is going on?” In fact, something is going on. All the customers are on the floor in the bank, while the bank is being robbed. Unfortunately, the robbery took more than 15 minutes. Joe does not know that. He is not a criminal investigator. He is a parking enforcement officer. So he issues the parking tickets.

Joe sees an 18-wheeler standing in the middle of highway. To be exact, a little under the highway. Joe does not know that the water pipe underneath has ruptured and the burst water caused the road collapse. Now the truck is stuck in a deep hole. Another excuse. Joe does not need to know it. He is not a road plumber. He is a parking enforcement officer. And the truck driver gets his ticket.

Joe sees a horse, tied to a pole with ‘No parking’ sign. There is a badge on horse’s harness. There is a pile of manure under ‘No parking’ sign. The badge says ‘Charlie Boy’. The pile smells. There is a definite violation. Joe’s job is to punish violators. A horse is definitely a vehicle. Not motorized and without wheels, but still a one-horse-power vehicle. Joe thinks outside the box. This makes him a very creative employee. Joe writes a parking ticket. Under vehicle description he writes ‘brown horse’. He writes ‘Charlie Boy’ for license plate number. He attaches the ticket to the vehicle’s forehead.

Joe sees a car parked at a handicapped space. The car does not have a disabled parking permit. Joe’s job is to punish the violator. While he is filling the ticket, Joe sees a man walking towards him. The man is smiling. Joe is not smiling. Joe is not a psychic, but he has a feeling, he is about to hear another excuse. Joe does not like listening to the excuses. It is not his job. The man says, he did see the sign, but did not understand it. The man says, the sign is misleading. The sign says, ‘Fine for Parking Here’. The man says, ‘fine’ is an ambiguous word. Joe would like to know, what ‘ambiguous’ means, but he would not ask. Joe is not an English professor. It’s not his job. Joe writes parking ticket.

People love giving excuses. They would even write their excuses on a piece of paper and leave the note on the windshield for Joe to read. Joe reads: "I've circled the block for 20 minutes. I'm late for an appointment, and if I don't park here I'll lose my job. Forgive us our trespasses." Then Joe writes on the back of the parking ticket: "I've circled the block for 20 years, and if I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job."
Joe does not want to lose his job. He likes his job. He is a parking enforcement officer. A good one.